In our everyday lives there are two different kinds of respect we give to those we interact with. One is earned respect and involves emotions like love and admiration. Earned respect takes time to cultivate and is based on things like confidence, trustworthiness, values, and the beliefs of the person we have this kind of respect for. Earned respect is based more on the knowing of someone.

Normative respect is the other kind of respect we give someone and is the most common type of respect we give people we may not know. For example, a man may open a door for a woman he doesn’t know. Normative respect is also a respect given because of a person status, not necessarily for the kind of person they are. For example, most people have respect for a policeman, the law, or for their boss. Normative respect is based more on duty.

In the work place the ideal type of respect to gain from your peers and employees is of course earned respect. However, if you are a manager or supervisor you will gain normative respect from most of your employees because of your status. But, as was indicated earlier, earned respect takes time to acquire because it involves the demonstration of behaviours and attitudes. Let’s look at some ways to gain earned respect.

Talk Less and Listen More

Rather than talking about how good you are show how good you are in your actions. If we are behaving in the right way we don’t need to verbally justify our actions. Additionally, we don’t need to speak up about every little thing that takes place around us. Be selective about what things are worthy of your input.

Everybody likes to be heard and when we patiently listen to those talking to us we are showing our interest, concern, and appreciation for them. Moreover, listening is complimentary to talking. When we thoroughly listen to someone we become more able to properly influence them when do talk.

Show Sincere Appreciation

Sincere appreciation and flattery are two different things. You might use flattery on someone at the local pub to get their attention to let them know you are interested in them. Sincere appreciation on the other hand is not about receiving a reciprocal response. It’s about recognizing good behaviours and actions in another and complimenting them for it in a genuine manner. When you see people you work with that deserve appreciation give it generously and without flattery.

Honesty

If you are dishonest or untruthful you will never gain genuine respect form your co-workers or employees. If you are dishonest they may give you normative respect because of your position but you will never earn real respect. If something goes wrong and you are responsible step up and take that responsibility without shifting the blame elsewhere. You will be much better for it in the long-run.

Have Self-Respect

Having self-respect is perhaps the most important component of earning respect from others. Without self-respect there is no way you can respect others and behave in ways to earn their respect.

We have seen the difference between the two kinds of respect, normative and earned. We have also gained an understanding of some ways to gain genuine respect in the workplace and if we apply these to our daily lives we can easily find ourselves much happier.